SIMULATION THEORY

If some of you are new here, I love to blog about my spiritual journey. I am still very new to this journey, and this journey started all because of my little mushroom friend. Chris and I decided to take shrooms last night, and I woke up feeling so inspired that I just needed to blog about my experience while it's fresh in my mind. So here we go....

My blog title is "Simulation Theory" because I decided to play Muse's album of the same name. Let me just tell you... the journey they took us on, I'm still trying to catch my breath haha! Chris made a funny comment saying "I just felt like I was shown the whole world" and "It sounded like angels and demons". He was not wrong. I do want to note how beautiful and genius this album is...I highly recommend to take a listen :)

My night started off like any other trip, chillin and listening to the music. I remember feeling so happy and so high on life. I kept saying "I love life", and I truly do. I noted on my phone that the glitches were very intense last night. Literally everywhere I looked I saw patterns, saw the vibrations, saw how the patterns shifted through the different energies, felt the energy between my hands, and felt like I was about to float away. I still cannot explain how my glitches looked last night, but I feel like I need to explain a little of how they looked. Just think of patterns in a kaleidoscope shifting and turning all around you and the dome in Hunger Games when Katniss shot her arrow into that shield thing. Plus a little bit of Doctor Strange and Inception vibes.

Once the song "Break It To Me" hit, everything spiraled.

While I was listening to this song, I couldn't process what the fuck was going through my mind. Like feeling the ugliness of the world in 2 minutes, but I knew that I had to go through that yucky feeling. I felt a lot of confusion and honestly, I am still confused as I am writing this. I don't want or like to speak about what Chris was going through because that's his personal journey, but he did look like he was spiraling at that moment too. After that song played, the next song calmed us down which is titled "Something Human". Beautiful song, and talks about the need for human touch and love, so it was perfect after the shit show feeling that "Break It To Me" brought to us. As we were calming down, I felt invincible. I felt like my arms wanted to float to the sky and felt like I could hold energy and pass it around. My mind or soul wanted to fly around, but obviously, my human body could not. It was a beautiful feeling and I kept telling Chris "I feel like I want to explore the universe but I only have about 2 hours to do so!" LOL. To me, shrooms are like a sneak peek into what life could actually be like when you stop giving in to all the norms and distractions of our everyday life, and something out there is trying to stop us from finding our true happiness. Does that make sense? I'll have to do a separate blog post about my thoughts on this...

After listening to a few more songs from the album, we decided to take a nice little walk outside to get some fresh air.

We always take Yuki (Our wonderful lab mix) with us when we take a walk outside while trippin so we don't look like a bunch of weirdos walking around haha. I kid you not, every single time I do shrooms, I feel like some weird shit happens outside or some type of distraction comes my way. For instance, on one of my 3rd or 4th trips, a helicopter was circling and shined its light on us. I notice that it's ALWAYS when I come to some type of realization about life and my belief that we are in some type of simulation. Throughout the night as I was trying to explain my new thoughts and realizations to Chris, something would distract me and I would lose my train of thought! As we were walking Yuki, we both noticed our neighborhood looked completely different. It was so bizarre, and I was like damn...how high am I this time? This has never happened to us on our past trips. Long story short, we took Yuki for a walk and all these little distractions kept popping up to throw us off. Again, I truly feel like something knows we are slowly awakening and wants us to stop. Has anyone else experienced this? Hmm...

After our walk, we stayed outside a little longer to try to recap our night. We let Yuki roam free in the streets and I must note, seeing my dog run around our neighborhood while we talked outside made me so happy. She was prancing around like we were the only people who lived in that neighborhood. When I asked Chris what he was going through tonight, he had a hard time explaining. **Side note **Chris also has a hard time expressing himself and the way he shows he loves me is by buying me expensive things. But when he sits me down and starts expressing how he feels, it's such a special moment. Chris was explaining his trip to me and what he was going through, and it ended with an "I love you" type of conversation. We started talking about life and marriage was brought up. When I was in my early 20s, I always told Chris I wanted to be married by 30. I turned 30 last October, and on NYE, Chris let me know he was planning to propose this year. When he told me that, the little girl inside of me squealed! What I didn't realize was the stress I brought onto him financially, and it trickled into our everyday lives. He told me he has been saving for the past year, but shit would come up and he would have to tap into his ring savings. He really wanted to buy me this ring, and it came to the point of "I want coffee but is this coffee worth more than her?"...and when he told me that, I felt so sad. He has been saving so hard because he really does want to get me this ring, but he knows deep down how much I want to travel and see the world.

Chris knows how much I have been loving my spiritual journey, and I tell him everything I learn and question. He knows that I am wanting to travel more and that I want to create more priceless moments together. A couple months ago, we talked about a small intimate wedding because we do not want to spend thousands of dollars on a 4-6 hour evening. We do want to celebrate our love somehow, but I will get to that later. As we were coming down from our trip, he asked me "In all seriousness, how much do you want this ring?" and I told him that I really don't need it. I told him that the moment we were currently sharing as we were talking about this is what I live for. I live for these meaningful conversations in front of our house and being in the present moment. I am so happy with what I currently have and own in this moment, why do I need anything else? Especially an expensive ring, I do not need that to validate our love. He then let me know that it felt like a huge weight has been lifted off his shoulders, and I just felt so relieved and at peace. All of that stress for him the past couple of years was all because I said I wanted to be married by 30, holy smokes. I'm so glad we had this conversation, and I'm so glad we are now on the same page.

This shroom trip was such a good one. I always look forward to the lessons I learn and the emotions I go through. I am slowly awakening and I am so grateful. I will create the life I dream of, and will blog every step of the way. The good, the bad, the ugly, just all of it. I can't wait to see my growth and progress, for I know it will be a bumpy asssss ride.